I'm looking at the sunset photo I took recently. I'm proud of the photo, I want to share it. Is this my ego? Do I want to impress you with my photographic skill, or look-what-beautiful-setting-I-live-in? Or do I want to really share the photo, just put it there and when you look at it, it will bring some positive thoughts and feelings up for you? Let me be honest; it’s probably a bit of both, hopefully less ego and more sharing.
What is my ego? I think of it as the words and ideas I've cobbled together to represent "me." It's not really me; "me" is far more than that. And not just is “me” far more than my ego, “you” too. "You" are far more than the words and ideas, the "me" and "mine" phrases and thoughts that we use to define ourselves. I can never hope to know you completely. Nobody can define something, a person of huge complexity, a person with unending potential, through words and images and ideas. It's like recipes; Two people use the same recipe and produce two different dishes, similar, but noticeably different. The recipe can describe the procedure and ingredients, but it can never convey the finer details of temperature and texture. And if this applies to apple dumplings, how much more does it not apply to a man or a woman. We don't even know ourselves. The best we can do is say, "I'm a dentist," or "I'm a South African," and then the listener ads his entire stereo type for "dentist" and "South African." Does he know me? Have I described myself? No, I've spoken words invented by my ego to differentiate me from others.
How un-spiritual! I spend hours, probably years, refining and tuning my ego self, shall we say false self, just to differentiate me from others, be more than or better than. There was a time I did not want to be an Afrikaans speaker. Why? -- Because I was so bombarded with negative stereotypes associated with Afrikaans speakers. Now I'm tweetalig! My ego is less prominent, but still there. When will I just be?
We’re not even honest when we manufacture the concepts and ideas that form our ego. We leave out the stuff we don’t want others to know, we exaggerate the stuff we think is cool in order to appear more cool. And guess what, I don’t even have a clue how to be half of my potential. I’m not bragging about how much unused potential I have, I’m being honest about my inability to use it because I’ve created my own limiting ego that stands between me and just being that which I can be.
It reminds me of the words of Eckhart Tolle I used in the previous post: "...more subtle and rarified form of self-enhancement, of desire for more and a strengthening of one's conceptual identity, one's self-image. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge." My ego is a creation, the result of my attemtps at "self-enhancement," assimilating stuff around me and about me that I use to be more than, better than. It is not easy to just be.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Grotto Bay Sunsets and "... allowing the goodness to emerge."
In winter, and sometimes in summer when there are clouds, we have spectacular sunsets here.
Brenda's Aunt Sylvia came to visit. We were a little worried about how it would go--we have Nunus and Sylvia is a little afraid of dogs, there's no traffic noise, it's an unfamiliar place ...
We need not have worried! Nunus and Sylvia became instant friends. We thought at first that if it did not work out we could take her back the next day. It was so good we decided to take her back a day later! She enjoyed it. She loved being here. Nunus too--Sylvia just ignored the rule about "Don't feed the dog when we're at the table!"
Here's an afterthought, a final thought about ice trays. I'm getting questions from some who read the text about the ice trays. This is the last time I'm writing about ice trays, or maybe it isn't. The idea is that we try hard to live our lives better, do the right things and so on. But what matters is the underlying attitudes and beliefs that shape our actions. I found some words written by Eckhart Toller that says it very nicely: "Fear, greed, and the desire for power are the psychological motivating forces not only behind warfare and violence between nations, tribes, religions, and ideologies, but also the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships. They bring about a distortion in your perception of other people and yourself. Through them, you misinterpret every situation, leading to misguided action designed to rid you of fear and satisfy your need for more, a bottomless hole that can never be filled.
"It is important to realize, however, that fear, greed, and the desire for power are not the dysfunction that we are speaking of, but are themselves created by the dysfunction, which is a deep-seated collective delusion that lies within the mind of each human being. A number of spiritual teachings tell us to let go of fear and desire. But those spiritual practices are usually unsuccessful. They haven't gone to the root of the dysfunction. Fear, greed, and desire for power are not the ultimate causal factors. Trying to become a good or better human being sounds like a commendable and high-minded thing to do, yet it is an endeavor you cannot ultimately succeed in unless there is a shift in consciousness. This is because it is still part of the same dysfunction a more subtle and rarified form of self-enhancement, of desire for more and a strengthening of one's conceptual identity, one's self-image. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge. But it can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness.
"The history of Communism, originally inspired by noble ideals, clearly illustrates what happens when people attempt to change external reality-create a new earth--without any prior change in their inner reality, their state of consciousness. They make plans without taking into account the blueprint for dysfunction that every human being carries within: the ego."
I like his phrases: "inner reality" and "state of consciousness." I'll paste what's the key sentence for me alongside those already on my mirror: "You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge."
Brenda's Aunt Sylvia came to visit. We were a little worried about how it would go--we have Nunus and Sylvia is a little afraid of dogs, there's no traffic noise, it's an unfamiliar place ...
We need not have worried! Nunus and Sylvia became instant friends. We thought at first that if it did not work out we could take her back the next day. It was so good we decided to take her back a day later! She enjoyed it. She loved being here. Nunus too--Sylvia just ignored the rule about "Don't feed the dog when we're at the table!"
Here's an afterthought, a final thought about ice trays. I'm getting questions from some who read the text about the ice trays. This is the last time I'm writing about ice trays, or maybe it isn't. The idea is that we try hard to live our lives better, do the right things and so on. But what matters is the underlying attitudes and beliefs that shape our actions. I found some words written by Eckhart Toller that says it very nicely: "Fear, greed, and the desire for power are the psychological motivating forces not only behind warfare and violence between nations, tribes, religions, and ideologies, but also the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships. They bring about a distortion in your perception of other people and yourself. Through them, you misinterpret every situation, leading to misguided action designed to rid you of fear and satisfy your need for more, a bottomless hole that can never be filled.
"It is important to realize, however, that fear, greed, and the desire for power are not the dysfunction that we are speaking of, but are themselves created by the dysfunction, which is a deep-seated collective delusion that lies within the mind of each human being. A number of spiritual teachings tell us to let go of fear and desire. But those spiritual practices are usually unsuccessful. They haven't gone to the root of the dysfunction. Fear, greed, and desire for power are not the ultimate causal factors. Trying to become a good or better human being sounds like a commendable and high-minded thing to do, yet it is an endeavor you cannot ultimately succeed in unless there is a shift in consciousness. This is because it is still part of the same dysfunction a more subtle and rarified form of self-enhancement, of desire for more and a strengthening of one's conceptual identity, one's self-image. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge. But it can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness.
"The history of Communism, originally inspired by noble ideals, clearly illustrates what happens when people attempt to change external reality-create a new earth--without any prior change in their inner reality, their state of consciousness. They make plans without taking into account the blueprint for dysfunction that every human being carries within: the ego."
I like his phrases: "inner reality" and "state of consciousness." I'll paste what's the key sentence for me alongside those already on my mirror: "You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge."
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
More "Ice Trays"
Since my last post I've been asked several times, "The ice trays sounds great, but what does it actually mean?" I admit, it's a little vague. So, I'll write some more.
"Having faith in someone commits a part of our energy to that person; having faith in an idea commits part of our energy to that idea; having faith in a fear commits part of our energy to that fear." This is from Caroline Myss.
Our energy commitments, physical and mental and spiritual, have consequences. Just like, when you commit physical energy to get up out of a chair has the consequence of going from sitting to standing, so too do your mental energy commitments have consequences. We become woven into the consequences of all of our energy commitments. And this, me woven into the consequences of my energy commitments, is what we call "my life."
If I have a strong belief in my laziness, does it not make sense that I will probably be lazy? I have a fear of abandonment. I’m certain that if I devote energy to this fear, I will end up lonely.
This is why I keep telling myself, avoid thoughts and words that support ideas you know are not in your best interests. They help strengthen your faith and therefore your energy commitment to doing what you should rather not do. "My Inner Child is rebelling against doing what I know I must do," and "I procrastinate," strengthen your faith in these ideas and increase the energy you commit towards not doing your job.
A rebellious Inner Child, easily distracted, striving to perfection, procrastination, these are the ice trays of your life that give you ice cubes with a shape you don’t want, an under-achievement shape. Don’t concern yourself with why you have these attitudes; even analyzing them devotes energy towards them. If you don’t like the shape of your ice cubes, chuck out the trays and get new ones. Don’t fuss about how come you have the ones currently in your freezer. Just get new ones. How about a fun-loving Inner Child that enjoys working and delivering? How about 90% is good enough in 100% of cases? How about do it now, and then I have more time to do the really fun things?
"Having faith in someone commits a part of our energy to that person; having faith in an idea commits part of our energy to that idea; having faith in a fear commits part of our energy to that fear." This is from Caroline Myss.
Our energy commitments, physical and mental and spiritual, have consequences. Just like, when you commit physical energy to get up out of a chair has the consequence of going from sitting to standing, so too do your mental energy commitments have consequences. We become woven into the consequences of all of our energy commitments. And this, me woven into the consequences of my energy commitments, is what we call "my life."
If I have a strong belief in my laziness, does it not make sense that I will probably be lazy? I have a fear of abandonment. I’m certain that if I devote energy to this fear, I will end up lonely.
This is why I keep telling myself, avoid thoughts and words that support ideas you know are not in your best interests. They help strengthen your faith and therefore your energy commitment to doing what you should rather not do. "My Inner Child is rebelling against doing what I know I must do," and "I procrastinate," strengthen your faith in these ideas and increase the energy you commit towards not doing your job.
A rebellious Inner Child, easily distracted, striving to perfection, procrastination, these are the ice trays of your life that give you ice cubes with a shape you don’t want, an under-achievement shape. Don’t concern yourself with why you have these attitudes; even analyzing them devotes energy towards them. If you don’t like the shape of your ice cubes, chuck out the trays and get new ones. Don’t fuss about how come you have the ones currently in your freezer. Just get new ones. How about a fun-loving Inner Child that enjoys working and delivering? How about 90% is good enough in 100% of cases? How about do it now, and then I have more time to do the really fun things?
Monday, March 24, 2008
If you don't like the shape of your ice cubes, change your ice tray.
In AA one often hears, "To keep doing the same thing over and over, and then expect the result to be different is insane." But that's what we do. We read something about how to live life better, like what we've read, close the book, and continue as we did before! Why? Why does our behavior stay the same? We like the new concept, but fail to include it in our living. Susan Greg says: "... thoughts, beliefs, agreements, and assumptions are energy patterns. As long as we hold onto them, we will continue to get the results we have always gotten." It's the underlying beliefs we have to change--the new ice cubes will take on the shape of the new ice trays. We have to work on our underlying beliefs, values and attitudes, the behavior will follow automatically!
Here's what she says in Mastering the Toltec Way:
"Making Things Non-Negotiable
"We never negotiate our need for air. We never put off our next breath until tomorrow. If we want to continue to live, breathing is non-negotiable.
When I first started studying the Toltec tradition, I had a white index card in the corner of my bathroom mirror with a list of four non-negotiable things I remember getting out of my warm bed many nights to finish that list.
"I was fortunate to realize early in my studies that action is the key to change. I watched people talk about how much they wanted to change, yet their lives remained the same. On the other hand I watched other lives blossom and grow. I observed that some people took consistent action while others didn't.
"Insights, knowledge, and profound experiences will do little to change your life if you don't take different actions. As long as you put star-shaped ice cube trays in the freezer, you will always have star-shaped ice cubes Our thoughts, beliefs, agreements, and assumptions are energy patterns. As long as we hold onto them, we will continue to get the results we have always gotten.
"What four things-if you did them every day-would make the most difference in your life? My list is (1) write, (2) meditate, (3) look in the mirror twice a day and tell myself how wonderful I am (and believe it), and (4) go to the beach to connect with my divinity.
"Do you want your life to be full of happiness and joy or pain and struggle? The choice is yours It depends on how willing you are to make a few things non-negotiable and do them every day."
Here's what she says in Mastering the Toltec Way:
"Making Things Non-Negotiable
"We never negotiate our need for air. We never put off our next breath until tomorrow. If we want to continue to live, breathing is non-negotiable.
When I first started studying the Toltec tradition, I had a white index card in the corner of my bathroom mirror with a list of four non-negotiable things I remember getting out of my warm bed many nights to finish that list.
"I was fortunate to realize early in my studies that action is the key to change. I watched people talk about how much they wanted to change, yet their lives remained the same. On the other hand I watched other lives blossom and grow. I observed that some people took consistent action while others didn't.
"Insights, knowledge, and profound experiences will do little to change your life if you don't take different actions. As long as you put star-shaped ice cube trays in the freezer, you will always have star-shaped ice cubes Our thoughts, beliefs, agreements, and assumptions are energy patterns. As long as we hold onto them, we will continue to get the results we have always gotten.
"What four things-if you did them every day-would make the most difference in your life? My list is (1) write, (2) meditate, (3) look in the mirror twice a day and tell myself how wonderful I am (and believe it), and (4) go to the beach to connect with my divinity.
"Do you want your life to be full of happiness and joy or pain and struggle? The choice is yours It depends on how willing you are to make a few things non-negotiable and do them every day."
I have a few cards pasted on the wall next to the mirror where I shave: "Do things without impatience," is one. I know that sounds negative, but it's personal. I use impatience as a signal to tell me when I'm not in the moment. When I'm impatient I know I'm either in the some moment that's still coming or in one that's been and gone--whatever, I'm not enjoying what I'm doing or I'm preoccupied with something else and I'll mess this one up. So, get back to what you're doing or stop before it's a mess.
Another one is "If you wait for the perfect time to start--you'll never begin. And if you don't like the outcome, do it over or scrap the idea." We've made some changes to the north side stoep. I had some old tools lying around, broken, rusted, never to be used again. On the spur of the moment we did something with them--Brenda varnished them and we hung them on the wall! I like how it looks:
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The Lounge!
Well, I was dragged kicking and screaming into the new lounge this weekend--a new lounge that actually looks like it has been created rather than the stuff was just left where the removal guys dumped it. I actually liked the old lounge. But I like the new one better. Decide for yourself.
First, let me tell you about the Old Lounge; it was cluttered and the only peaceful feeling it created was that I knew where everything was. I was the only one who could find anything in it. The color scheme was not bad either.
The New Lounge is Brenda’s creation. I take no credit for it, other than my complaints probably strengthened her determination to make the changes. It has space, light, a peaceful feeling and, as a room, it WORKS! It cost us next to nothing, just rearranged stuff and took out some stuff. Brenda’s next project is the main bedroom. I can’t wait. She describes the current one as “not bad if it were in the YMCA”
Boundaries
Brenda and I have been talking about church and the Christian approach to living and about boundaries. Yesterday my eye picked up a book in our lounge bookshelf; Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend.
I paged through the book and read a passage here and there. I’ve had this book for many years and not read it until yesterday. Here’s a passage, Rule 2 of Boundaries:
‘Many times when people hear a talk on boundaries and taking responsibility for their own lives, they say, "That's so self-centered. We should love one another and deny our "selves." Or, they actually become selfish and self-centered. Or, they feel "guilty'' when they do someone a favor. These are unbiblical views of responsibility.
‘The Law of Responsibility includes loving others. The commandment to love is the entire law for Christians (Gal. 5:13-14). Jesus calls it ''my'' commandment, "Love each other as I have loved you'' (John 15:12). Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself; you have disowned your heart.
‘Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused. We are to love one another, not be one another. I can't feel your feelings for yowl. I can't think for you. I can't behave for you. I can't work through the disappointment that limits bring for you. In short, I can't grow for you; only you can Likewise, you can't grow for me. The biblical mandate for your own personal growth is ''Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose'' (Phil. 2:12-13). You are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself.
‘An additional theme in the Bible says that we are to treat others the way we would want to be treated. If we were down and out, helpless and without hope, we would certainly want help and provision. This is a very important side of being responsible "to."
‘Another aspect of being responsible "to" is not only in the giving but also in the setting of limits on another's destructive and irresponsible behavior. It is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin, for you will only have to do it again. You have reinforced the pattern (Prov. 19:19). It is the same principle spoken of in child rearing; it is hurtful to not have limits with others. It leads them to destruction (Prov. 23:13).
‘A strong strand throughout the Bible stresses that you are to give to needs and put limits on sin. Boundaries help you do just that.’
I strongly support the concept of not enabling someone. It has always been a dilemma for me, because it seems to contradict what’s written in the Bible i.e. to be loving and helpful and those things. This passage finally clarifies it for me, give to needs and put limits on your giving to support or enable someone’s destructive and irresponsible behavior. Proverbs 19:19 reads: “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” He must pay the penalty. If you rescue, he does not pay the penalty. It does however involve a judgment; Is what he wants a need, or is it something that enables him to continue his destructive behavior? That’s a judgment, or is it?
I paged through the book and read a passage here and there. I’ve had this book for many years and not read it until yesterday. Here’s a passage, Rule 2 of Boundaries:
‘Many times when people hear a talk on boundaries and taking responsibility for their own lives, they say, "That's so self-centered. We should love one another and deny our "selves." Or, they actually become selfish and self-centered. Or, they feel "guilty'' when they do someone a favor. These are unbiblical views of responsibility.
‘The Law of Responsibility includes loving others. The commandment to love is the entire law for Christians (Gal. 5:13-14). Jesus calls it ''my'' commandment, "Love each other as I have loved you'' (John 15:12). Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself; you have disowned your heart.
‘Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused. We are to love one another, not be one another. I can't feel your feelings for yowl. I can't think for you. I can't behave for you. I can't work through the disappointment that limits bring for you. In short, I can't grow for you; only you can Likewise, you can't grow for me. The biblical mandate for your own personal growth is ''Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose'' (Phil. 2:12-13). You are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself.
‘An additional theme in the Bible says that we are to treat others the way we would want to be treated. If we were down and out, helpless and without hope, we would certainly want help and provision. This is a very important side of being responsible "to."
‘Another aspect of being responsible "to" is not only in the giving but also in the setting of limits on another's destructive and irresponsible behavior. It is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin, for you will only have to do it again. You have reinforced the pattern (Prov. 19:19). It is the same principle spoken of in child rearing; it is hurtful to not have limits with others. It leads them to destruction (Prov. 23:13).
‘A strong strand throughout the Bible stresses that you are to give to needs and put limits on sin. Boundaries help you do just that.’
I strongly support the concept of not enabling someone. It has always been a dilemma for me, because it seems to contradict what’s written in the Bible i.e. to be loving and helpful and those things. This passage finally clarifies it for me, give to needs and put limits on your giving to support or enable someone’s destructive and irresponsible behavior. Proverbs 19:19 reads: “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” He must pay the penalty. If you rescue, he does not pay the penalty. It does however involve a judgment; Is what he wants a need, or is it something that enables him to continue his destructive behavior? That’s a judgment, or is it?
Friday, March 7, 2008
The Big Picture
In "Mastering the Toltec Way" Susan Greg writes :
"Intent is the third Toltec mastery. It is very powerful and always operating in your world. Intent is like the wind; you can see its effect-- as when the wind moves a sailboat-but you can't see it directly. Although it is always working, you must set your intent clearly in order to use it. The Grandmother said, 'Let the rocks speak to you; they will guide your feet and make your passage easy.'
"If you look at your life, you can see your intent. lf you are unhappy, your intent has been to create unhappiness. lf you have a loving relationship, your intent was to have a loving relationship. To see your intent simply look at the results you have achieved in your life.
"You can harness intent as you can harness the wind. I've been learning how to sail a small catamaran, which has been a great lesson on intent. Small adjustments make a big difference. I can set my intent to go toward a certain spot, but I need to pay attention and adjust the rudder and the sail along the way or I won't get there.
"Set your intent to achieve personal freedom. You may discover that everything but freedom will come roaring to the surface. Welcome the arrival of each new belief, make an adjustment or two, and set your intent again. See what comes up, address it, and keep repeating the process until you get to where you want to go.
"Be gentle with yourself in the process Be grateful for the limitations your intent shows you rather than judging yourself for having them."
The hard part is of course when what you don't want "comes up" as she puts it; " ... everything but ..... will come roaring to the surface. Welcome the arrival of each new belief, make an adjustment or two, and set your intent again. See what comes up, address it, and keep repeating the process until you get to ..."
Often I'm sidetracked by what comes up, become involved in it, and hijacked. Say you have a difficult moment with a loved one, you immediately become sucked into and focused on the subject of the difficulty-you have an argument, become defensive, or feel threatened, hit back. Is your intent to have stress and arguing? Of course not, but one forgets it in that moment.
It's almost like your intent has changed from building a loving relationship to winning the argument-How strange! What does winning an argument achieve? Even if you win, you still feel bad. It does not serve the purpose of building a loving relationship. Sometimes we have to protect our personal boundaries, even where a loved one is involved. But is it not better to protect our boundaries in a civil and loving way? How does one do that? It seems we are often caught up in the habit of protecting boundaries by showing anger and aggression. We believe the only way to clarify our boundaries is by fighting?
What if, in that angry moment, I can step back and remind myself of my intent? That's something I learned from Brenda-when she's confronted with a difficult situation, she "steps back," takes a higher view, sees the situation from her higher self. The fearful "inner child" wants to hit out or run away in that moment-The "higher self" can take control of the situation and come back to the intent of building a loving relationship. Fear and insecurity blows us off course. I guess that's why one's life is broken up into days--So we have a fresh start each day, to provide a fresh opportunity to step back and see the big picture, to say thanks for our blessings and to remind us of our intent.
"Intent is the third Toltec mastery. It is very powerful and always operating in your world. Intent is like the wind; you can see its effect-- as when the wind moves a sailboat-but you can't see it directly. Although it is always working, you must set your intent clearly in order to use it. The Grandmother said, 'Let the rocks speak to you; they will guide your feet and make your passage easy.'
"If you look at your life, you can see your intent. lf you are unhappy, your intent has been to create unhappiness. lf you have a loving relationship, your intent was to have a loving relationship. To see your intent simply look at the results you have achieved in your life.
"You can harness intent as you can harness the wind. I've been learning how to sail a small catamaran, which has been a great lesson on intent. Small adjustments make a big difference. I can set my intent to go toward a certain spot, but I need to pay attention and adjust the rudder and the sail along the way or I won't get there.
"Set your intent to achieve personal freedom. You may discover that everything but freedom will come roaring to the surface. Welcome the arrival of each new belief, make an adjustment or two, and set your intent again. See what comes up, address it, and keep repeating the process until you get to where you want to go.
"Be gentle with yourself in the process Be grateful for the limitations your intent shows you rather than judging yourself for having them."
The hard part is of course when what you don't want "comes up" as she puts it; " ... everything but ..... will come roaring to the surface. Welcome the arrival of each new belief, make an adjustment or two, and set your intent again. See what comes up, address it, and keep repeating the process until you get to ..."
Often I'm sidetracked by what comes up, become involved in it, and hijacked. Say you have a difficult moment with a loved one, you immediately become sucked into and focused on the subject of the difficulty-you have an argument, become defensive, or feel threatened, hit back. Is your intent to have stress and arguing? Of course not, but one forgets it in that moment.
It's almost like your intent has changed from building a loving relationship to winning the argument-How strange! What does winning an argument achieve? Even if you win, you still feel bad. It does not serve the purpose of building a loving relationship. Sometimes we have to protect our personal boundaries, even where a loved one is involved. But is it not better to protect our boundaries in a civil and loving way? How does one do that? It seems we are often caught up in the habit of protecting boundaries by showing anger and aggression. We believe the only way to clarify our boundaries is by fighting?
What if, in that angry moment, I can step back and remind myself of my intent? That's something I learned from Brenda-when she's confronted with a difficult situation, she "steps back," takes a higher view, sees the situation from her higher self. The fearful "inner child" wants to hit out or run away in that moment-The "higher self" can take control of the situation and come back to the intent of building a loving relationship. Fear and insecurity blows us off course. I guess that's why one's life is broken up into days--So we have a fresh start each day, to provide a fresh opportunity to step back and see the big picture, to say thanks for our blessings and to remind us of our intent.
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